For years I looked for things I could do to make life better for myself and my family. I thought it had something to do with the work I did, the tasks I performed, the depth of meaning in the words I said. I was right, but it was all done in the wrong way. I can easily sleep through anything painful or difficult. I can act any way that is needed. But to pull out the pin I need to bring myself back to life. I have to know what is in me, where I am and might want to go. This is not easy.

In The Great Divorce, C. S. Lewis told the stories of people who couldn’t make it to the peak of heaven because they couldn’t give it all up. God offered eternal happiness, but they couldn’t divorce themselves from something — something they thought important, a loved one, a habit, a memory.

The only way to pull out the pin is to is to remove it all from me, to allow my writing to express what’s inside, and then to let it go. It won’t be lost, can’t be lost. It will all be written. And as it all leaves me, the open spaces will fill with something new, better, closer to who I am, and who I am becoming. The more I write, the more I give, the more space I have to receive the unintentional gifts that may come my way.

The man with one talent buried it, and nothing happened. The others spent, took risks, shared, and were rewarded mightily. If I want to write, I have to write. If I want to write, I have to share my stories, my ideas. And thus it becomes my vow. No longer to hide my writing under a barrel, but to let it out, to let it shine, that it might take the last vestiges of insanity from me, and grow my playground for the next insane idea I may come up with.

The more I write, the better I’ll write. The better I write, the better I can share. The more I share, the more I can become part of the community, the community that starts with me. We can change the world, you and I, just like I thought when I was much younger. My only error was looking for something out there to change, when all I really needed to start with was me.

The more experiences I have, the more I want to experience. The more real people I meet, the more I want to meet real people. The more I write, the more I realize I want to write.

So tonight I write. Tomorrow I write. My vow is to lather, rinse, and repeat until I clean the cobwebs from within, and make a clean space to think and grow.

And write.

Since I’m kinda new at this fiction stuff, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I actually submitted something, and it didn’t win anything. Inevitable, but still a bummer. I got the list of winners and shortlisters from the 3 Day novel contest today, and didn’t see my name.

Luckily, I have a backup plan. The novel I wrote, called Arrivals, is about the second coming. I was sick much of the weekend when I wrote it, so I’m sure there are some serious disconnects. But I was seeing it in my head the whole time.

Seeing it. So in April, I’m going to write it as a screenplay during ScriptFrenzy… I think there is still life in there!

On to the next project.

I’ve started submitting some short pieces to sixsentences.blogspot.com - all the stories are exactly (as you might guess) six sentences long. Here is the one I submitted today.

A tall man with short, dark hair enters the restaurant, a pretty blonde girl on his arm, and quickly takes the seat the waitress offers. As the girl looks for something new to eat, he strokes his neatly trimmed goatee and looks through the crowd, his intense gaze searching as if his meal was out there, and not on the menu. After a few moments of silent review, he temples his fingers in front of his face, his eyes lowering until they are nearly closed, and says, “He’s here.” “Where?” she whispers, not wanting to look up from her list of likely selections. “At the back, smoking cigars with about five or six others.” She still refuses to look up, but lets out a little grunt, and then, “Can I at least eat first this time?”

Let me know what you think

On November 29th, I flew past the 50,000th word of my novel Banjo & Cross, becoming a Nanowrimo winner for the first time. I’m really excited, and think the book might be worth finishing (as in polishing) for future use.

I’ve uploaded a sample from the book at the Nano site if you are interested.

Well, the 52stories.net site has been down for technical problems for a couple weeks, so I haven’t posted any updates. It is just as well right now, since I’m doing my first National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). If you look at the left side of the page, there is an icon with my current word count. The goal is 50,000 in November. I’m a little behind, but I have confidence, and next week off to finish it up!

Stay tuned.

This is the newest story, and it’s “highly anticipated follow-on”

1.13 Stairway to Heaven - in which the bus driver (from 1.11 and 1.12) learns more about what happened to the children that died in the accident, and about the stairway to heaven, which he needs to climb.

1.16 Stairway to Heaven II - in which the bus driver climbs the stairway, and finds out what awaits him at the top.

I’ve been writing a story each week at 52stories.net.  I’ll try to post links to them in here, but for now, here is the batch I’ve done so far.

1.04 Black and White - in which a man on business travel realizes how much he misses his family.

1.05 A Small Miscalculation - in which two boys accidently fly their summer house to the wrong location.

1.05 (also!) Retirement Home - in which a man gives his wife a retirement home in a strange location.

1.06 MayBelle - in which the tooth fairy starts her new job and has an adventure with three boys.

1.07 Mightier than the Sword - in which a man realizes his wife still loves him when he finds a plane ticket in the dark.

1.08 How Many Stories - in which a couple realizes that episodes 1.04 through 1.07 have been about their own lives, and that someone took a picture of them for this week’s entry as well.

1.09 Mary’s Land - in which a couple of ponies escape from a fair and think they have reached nirvana.

1.10 Permanent Vacation - in which a wife-killer remembers how his circle of friends has disappeared over the last year.

1.11 Thanks - in which a mother remembers the horror of a bus crash, but is thankful to the firemen that saved her children.

1.12 Entry Fee - in which the bus driver from 1.11 ends up in heaven, and finds out what happens to the children.

Welcome to my writing website. Things are just getting started, so please bear with me a little as I get things adjusted. In the meantime, feel free to register and leave comments. Be nice!